Good Writing?
So what exactly is it that makes for good writing? By that I don't mean character or plot, how the story's pacing unfolds, no I mean what makes good words? What makes good sentences? A paragraph that by itself flows smoothly into the reader's brain.
If an individual sentence is good, then the paragraphs will most likely be good, then the chapters, and hopefully the entire story or book.
Let's look at some examples. A few of these are made up, but most come from my own work.
Long Paragraphs that Go ON and ON and ON
I once read the opening of a book that my wife had been trying to get into. She showed it to me and I attempted the first paragraph. It contained a single sentence, that continued word by word over most of that page and into the next. The rest of the book contained similar examples. This type of writing, while the author may have found it satisfying, will grind your readers down. It's exhausting.
Here's a made up sample:
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque faucibus ex sapien vitae pellentesque sem placerat. In id cursus mi pretium tellus duis convallis. Tempus leo eu aenean sed diam urna tempor. Pulvinar vivamus fringilla lacus nec metus bibendum egestas. Iaculis massa nisl malesuada lacinia integer nunc posuere. Ut hendrerit semper vel class aptent taciti sociosqu. Ad litora torquent per conubia nostra inceptos himenaeos. Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet consectetur adipiscing elit. Quisque faucibus ex sapien vitae pellentesque sem placerat. In id cursus mi pretium tellus duis convallis. Tempus leo eu aenean sed diam urna tempor. Pulvinar vivamus fringilla lacus nec metus bibendum egestas. Iaculis massa nisl malesuada lacinia integer nunc posuere. Ut hendrerit semper vel class aptent taciti sociosqu. Ad litora torquent per conubia nostra inceptos himenaeos.
This is faux Latin created by an online Lorem Ipsum generator. The principle is the same, a long, drawn out paragraph without any break in the pacing is just a slog to read.
Here's the way good writing should flow:
The floor, or whatever it was, hurt his face, a line of steel pressing against his eye and cheek. He rolled to his back and tried to look around, only to find a fine black grid obscuring his vision. He made out tiny bits of blurred detail, open squares visible beyond the black grid, but nothing else made sense.
Where was he? Where were Ian and Nash?
What the hell was going on?
“Hello?”
No answer. Then he heard a car passing by, headlights brightening up what he could see through the grid. Then the light died away and the car, the other car, drove on.
“Hello! Is anybody there? What the hell’s going on?”
Again, no answer.
Another car drove past, and against the dim wash of moving headlights he thought he saw a person, or the shadow of a person, silhouetted in a sitting position across from him.
There is description here, but it's broken up by introspection and dialog. Some of the sentences are short, others run longer, but nothing like the run on paragraph of the book my wife showed me.
Using The Same or Similar Words Over and Over
When you're in the flow, writing like mad, and the words are zipping from your brain to your fingers and onto the keyboard, it's easy to fall into a trap of repeating things. I've done this quite a bit, sometimes not noticing until the second or third rewrite.
An example from my own work:
Around the perimeter of the circular wall were openings leading out to adjoining private rooms. No open dining at Adisa’s.
The doorman lead him through one of the openings into a dark room with a 2d projection of a PlayGame match above a bar counter, bottles of whiskey, vodka, tequila and Cognac on each side. Draft handles just behind the bar counter offered Stouts, Ales, and Micro brews.
and another:
The old guy staggered, but kept hold of the dagger.
These words are sort of repeated, the rhyme being unintentional, but definitely awkward. They are easy to fix however. Simply break open a thesaurus, or go to an online thesaurus, and find alternate words.
Like so:
Around the perimeter of the circular wall were passages leading out to adjoining private rooms. No open dining at Adisa’s.
The doorman lead him through one of the halls into a dark room with a 2d projection of a PlayGame match above a bar counter, bottles of whiskey, vodka, tequila and Cognac on each side. Draft handles just behind the bar counter offered Stouts, Ales, and Micro brews.
and:
The old guy lurched back, but kept hold of the dagger.
Singular and Plural Nouns
If you state during a sentence that there are more than one item being described, but you then use the singular noun for the rest, that's an error.
The chain link fence beside him gave way to thick lengths of pitted and flaked wrought iron bars, the top a hammered leaf shape, pointed tip aimed skyward.
Also an easy fix:
The chain link fence beside him transitioned from modern to ancient, thick lengths of pitted and flaked wrought iron bars, their tops a hammered leaf shape, pointed tips aimed skyward.
Weak Verbs and Over Explaining
Sometimes during the rush of getting that first draft down, you'll use verbs that are weak, common place, even boring. Sometimes they'll just be the wrong word, or you'll add additional words, trying to pad out the meaning.
He took a quick glance behind him, then sprinted towards the fence.
Seems correct, but by definition, a glance is a quick look at something. No need to pad it out. The sentence is more concise when corrected.
He glanced at the path behind him, checking for pursuit, then sprinted towards the fence.
Note that I've also added depth to the story by explaining why the character is looking back.
Other weak verbs are things like ran and walked. Any thesaurus can provide more descriptive, and more accurate examples that might suit your story and your characters better than these. Perhaps they sprinted, dashed, ambled, sauntered. So many wonderful choices.
Final Search and Replace
The last thing I do, after a spell check, is to do an individual search for those words which are my personal Kryptonite. I search for there, their, and they're. It's all too easy, when vomiting out that first draft, to misuse each one, though they sound quite similar. Another thing I search for is __, and by that I mean that I tap the space bar twice, searching for the invisible, and dreaded, double space. These can show up anywhere, and are doggedly difficult to spot with just a quick read through.
The very last thing I do is print out a hard copy, and with red pen in hand, read the manuscript, looking for double or triple use of words, unintended rhymes, weak verbs, and weak, uninspired writing. My wife once called me on a sentence where I said, in effect, 'then it got dark'. She told me it wasn't very literary and of course I agreed. I rewrote the sentence to read 'Sunset had commenced, and the terrace offered a clear view of the orange and red color band that streaked across the western horizon.'
Which is infinitely better writing than 'It got dark.' Sigh, oh well that's first drafts for you.